November 29, 2013

Free Passage

I am telling myself that I am doing a public service by writing this post. Considering my blog readers are on the whole imaginary, it's not so much, but otherwise there's not much point me writing this post other than to make use of this iPad the Christies has kindly let me use.

I've never used an iPad before. I think I quite like it. It corrects my spellings for me.

Don't worry mostly imaginary blog readers, this will be a very short post. I am very near the point were I am falling asleep.

I feel it is my job to warn you about some fraudulent activity. Mainly I just want to complain about it, but oh well.

Me and my family were scammed out of the exact cost of £72.50, or, in other word, the exact cost of a passport.

Which is just rubbish. And the worst bit is, the passport people are fully aware of this, and can't do anything about it. As soon as Dad rang up, they knew exactly what had happened. We had paid £72.50 for the passport service. We paid £72.50 for someone to print my name on a form and send it out to us. We did not pay £72.50 for a passport.

Which is just rubbish. Just to let you know.

Some background information about me. I HATE FILLING IN FORMS!!!! This is not just I hate paperwork and I really would rather not fill out any unnecessary forms. It's that the thought of filling out forms makes me queasy. I am very bad at filling in for so, and very good at making mistakes,  so it's just so stressful. Like REALLY stressful. Like, immensely stressful. Filling in forms is no laughing matter. Some of my worst nightmares have evolved from the idea of filling in forms.

And after all that stress, and there was a lot of stress, I didn't get a passport. I know.

So there were lots of negotiations. Lot's of negotiations. And then more lots of negotiations. And consequently then lots of Dad getting annoyed at the passport office. And lots of me wishing I'd never applied for the STUPID passport. I don't even want to go anywhere (apart from Ikea, but you don't need a passport to get there). I just wanted it because you need an acceptable form of ID for when I apply to uni. And I didn't have a driving licence (provisional or not.)

But then hey ho- life goes on and you don't end up applying to uni this year- you'll be applying next year instead. So there is absolutely no pressing need for a passport. And the stupid thing is, next year when I do apply for uni, I will probably have a (at least provisional) drivers licence. So at the end of it all, I won't need the passport. 

I could always go to Ikea in Sweden. One day. When I'm 42 1/2. Then I'd need a passport. 

The passport office's next aggravation (after we hadn't paid - and Dad wasn't paying till this was all sorted) was that I was too pale in the photo, and they needed me to go out and have another picture taken. Now, the trouble with this is, it is not the picture's fault. We didn't even go to one of those little booths they have in the bus station and WHSmiths. We went to a little independent shop in town with a guarantee, if the picture ain't right, come back and they'll re-do it. So they were proper people. We paid extra for their service. And a) Mom and Dad can't really get me into town right now, and b) I'm now on chemo. I can look pretty terrible on any given day, and my hairs falling out. So any picture taken now is not going to be a true likeness of what I'll look like if I ever use the passport to go though customs and have the picture scrutinized by an official. So what's the point of having that picture? Plus, I don't want to be going bald in my passport picture in ten years time. Can you imagine that in ten years time- stood in line about to go on a hen party to Timbuktu - explaining you had cancer ten years ago - but that you're alright now. 

Nah thank you. 

Plus, as Dad told the manageress down the phone- I'm ginger and I'm good at it. Even if you retook the picture and I was well, I'd still be pale. 

So the passport office asked could I have a doctors note saying that I was pale. No, I am not joking. 

Which as Dad said, how's that going to work? I've never actually met my named GP doctor, and I'm too ill to go meet him now- so how is he going to sign a doctors note saying that I'm pale? 

At this point, we just wanted to say quit it, and give up. But if we went down that route, they would have destroyed my supporting documents. And at that point we thought they had my birth certificate, and we didn't really want that destroyed. Turns out they didn't, but that was just our bad organisational skills. 

This is a random picture of my old passport, in it's sad, stamp-less state. That's right, every single page is empty. Apart from the one with my picture on and all the fancy dancey ones about the queen. No stamps or visas. Not a single one. It could be because I only ever went to France on a school trip with it, but ho-hey. 

So, back to the actual story. To be honest, after the many phone calls back and forth between Dad and the passport office, I don't really know how my passport got sorted out. I just know that they rang up one day, and said ignore the letter telling us that we needed to do this that and the other, as soon as we paid they would send out my new passport. 

To be honest, I think they just got bored of seeing my name on the board. 

So, as I just read through that in preview it's actually quite long. Mainly because I gave up, went to sleep, and came back to it later. Sorry. 

P.S. You can leave comments now you know. Sorry. I just only have one so far. Feeling a bit lonely. 


  1. Passports are a pain. I always look stupidly pale in mine (it doesn't help that they're black and white). At least its sorted now though

    1. Why can't we at least smile - it makes everything look so much better!